Happy Father's Day to a Great Angel Daddy

Today was Father's Day.  It's one of those holidays that we really aren't sure how to celebrate.  We know we're parents, just under non-typical circumstances.  I think it's easier for me to feel like a mom because girls are willing to listen to me talk about sweet Aubrey whenever I feel the need, unfortunately, it's not as acceptable for guys.

Sam is such a great angel daddy (which is no easy task)!  He's the type of dad who would give almost anything to have his daughter here on Earth with us.  When you open Sam's bible, you will find a post-it note containing Aubrey's whole name (before we left for the hospital he had me write her name down in case I was out of it and he had to fill out any papers, he put it in his bible for safe keeping and it's been there every since).  He's the one who suggested the second kiss for Aubrey.  He always says the sweetest things like the other night on our way to dinner for his birthday when he said, "this has been a great day, the only thing that would make it better is if we had our little girl in the back seat."  Or today, when we were putting "daddy's choice" flowers on Aubrey's grave for Father's Day and he said, "I wish I had her here, but I know she's celebrating this day with our Heavenly Father."  

This is Sam holding Aubrey the night she was born (I cropped her out because I still don't want to post her pictures on the internet, maybe someday I'll be ready).  I love the look on his face, it contains so many emotions including love for his daughter,  joy to finally see her, sorrow that she was no longer alive, and relief that I was OK.  

Happy Father's Day, Sam!  Your love for our angel makes me want to have an Earth family with you even more!

Paperwork Pregnancy - Month 5

Wow, I feel like I haven't blogged (or even turned on the computer) in forever.  I decided to teach this summer and I have to say that I forgot how tired you get when you are chasing kids and dancing around all day.  Every once and a while I miss my easy life of part time reception work, but I'm really happy to be in the classroom again (it sure makes the day go faster).  It's been interesting since my class this summer contains children from three to six years old, seven of which have special needs, talk about a variety of learners. Add to that that four out of the first seven days of school I have only had one of my three assistants (we have been pulling the receptionist to help in my room some) and you have one tired Ms. Courtney!  I'm really not complaining, I just feel like I need to justify why I haven't been around the blog world lately.

OK, OK let's move on to what you came over for... our adoption update.  I'm sad to say their really isn't a lot to report right now.  The classes are finished and I guess our background checks came back since we haven't heard anything about them.  Really all we are waiting on at this point is our home study.  Apparently, the independent contractor working on our study finally started typing it this week because she emailed me some questions and said she's having a hard time reading the notes she took when she came to our house in April (in the e-mail she kept asking about my "miscarriage."  Really lady, do you not remember talking at our house, OR have you not read any of the 25 pages that my husband and I each filled out for you?  I've never had a miscarriage, our daughter was stillborn!).  She has 90 days to complete the home study (our first visit was April 20) and although we had hopes of it not taking that long, it looks like we might be racing the clock to finish in time. 

In other news, guess who had a birthday yesterday!  No, I'm not talking about the flag (yesterday was Flag Day here in America), I'm talking about my husband who turned the big 3-0.  Happy birthday, Sam!  You are an amazing man and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you!  We didn't do anything big, we just went out to eat, visited Aubrey's grave (Sam's request, he's such a good angel daddy), and rented a movie.  It was actually a fun, relaxing night.