I Just Want Her to be Remembered

Disclaimer:  Sometimes I will talk about Aubrey on here.  It doesn't mean I'm having a bad day or that I'm looking for sympathy.  All it means is that I don't want her to be forgotten.   

I would like to share with you a song that very accurately describes how we feel following the loss of Aubrey.  It was written by Todd Smith of the Christian group Selah after doctors told him and his wife that their unborn daughter, Audrey, was missing several vital organs.  Doctors suggested that they terminate the pregnancy, but they chose to carry her. 

Todd's wife, Angie, also wrote a book titled I Will Carry You.  It is an amazing story of how they prepared for the day they got to hold their daughter in their arms and how they continued to look to the Lord after she was gone.  I highly recommend it.  I read it shortly after we lost Aubrey and couldn't believe how similar her feelings were to my own. 

I thank God every day that he gave us Aubrey, even if it was just for a short time.  I can honestly say that the day Aubrey was born was one of the best days of my life.  On that day I got to see, smell, hold and kiss my sweet angel.  Aubrey, Mommy loves you and can't wait to see you again!

You Heard it Here First

Life as we know it is about to be replaced with parenting classes, home studies, background checks, references, and lots and lots of paperwork.  That's right, we're moving on with the adoption process!  Exciting, right!  Adoption is something that we've been talking about for a long time (before we even knew we would have fertility problems), we just always thought we would have biological children first (which technically we did, but I'm talking Earth babies here).  Although we will go through with this week's procedure, we might or might not continue fertility treatments while we are doing the adoption process, we still have to figure that out.  We originally thought that we wouldn't, but now our specialist has suggested we apply for a research study for young couples with unexplained infertility so we might do that.

What we do know is that we are going to adopt through DHS.  I have spoken with a representative from the state level.  She sent us the paperwork, it should be here tomorrow, and assigned us to a local case worker.  We have decided to adopt a sibling pair with a maximum age of 4.  How's that for exciting?!?!?!

The What and Why

I've been contemplating a blog for a while now and finally decided to go for it.  Although I'm not sure what all you will find on here, it will probably include progress reports on our (hopefully) growing family, stories that I find funny (hopefully you do to :), craft projects, and, of course, Bella and Rufus from time to time.

You might be wondering where my blog title came from.  Well, let me tell you...  after losing Aubrey I told Sam that I would miss getting to kiss her goodnight.  We decided that instead of giving each other one kiss, we could now give each other a kiss for Aubrey too.  I love our little routine which has now grown to include bedtime, morning, departures, and any other time we feel like it.  I wish that kisses didn't have to come in twos, but I'm glad that I have a great guy to share them with.