What I'm Not Doing Today

Today is my 30th birthday.  That's right, the big 3-0.  For years I've told Sam that if we don't have kids by my 30th birthday I'm going sky diving.  Sam wasn't fond of this idea.  You see, Sam has a healthy respect of heights.  More than that, Sam has a fear of watching me jump out of a plane.  I told him he could go too, but that didn't work.  Luckily for Sam, Joseph came along.  Before Joseph, I didn't fear dying.  I'm not saying I lived recklessly, I just knew that if something happened here on Earth, I would move on to spending eternity with Aubrey.  Now that we have Joseph, things have changed.  If I die, he doesn't have a mom.  Being responsible for another life kind of puts things into perspective. 

The thought of turning 30 has been a little rough on me.  I think the biggest reason I've been dreading this birthday is the fertility timeline.  We are no longer a young couple with unexplained inferitlity, we are now considered middle aged in the fertiltiy world.  No, we don't have plans to pursue fertility treatments in the future.  No, I didn't think I would unexplainably get pregnant before I hit this point.  It's just another reminder that we are dependent on others to expand our family.

So today, instead of jumping out of a plane, I'm playing with the most precious little boy I've ever laid eyes on.  We're making a huge mess in the room where our guests used to sleep.  I'm laying him down for a nap in a crib that I wondered if we would ever really use.  I'm meeting up with old friends to celebrate with a cookie cake (with lots of icing :).  I'm ordering a pizza and eating it on the couch while watching a movie with the love of my life.  Maybe 30 won't be so bad after all.