Monday, March 21, 2011

A Step Towards Healing

This weekend I held a baby.  Up to that day I hadn't held any children within a couple months of Aubrey's age.  It's not because I didn't have the opportunity, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  This time was different, I was at a Piggies and Paws party in Lawton and have no clue who her parents are other than the fact that we were at the same person's house at the same time.  When the twins and their older sister walked in there was something about this little girl that made me ache inside so I offered to hold her while her parents looked at the print options.  I then asked questions about her age and gestation at birth and realized why I was so attached to her.  This was a baby girl born at the end of May at 33 weeks.  She and her twin brother were conceived at the same clinic we use at the end of October  meaning she was conceived about the same time Aubrey was and born about the same time as Aubrey.    The whole time I was holding her I kept thinking, "I wish Sam could see this little girl."  That evening when I was telling Sam about holding her he wanted to know everything about her like how big she was and if she was crawling yet, it was so cute how much he cared.  Luckily her parents were nice and, after I explained myself a little, didn't mind the crazy lady who was holding their daughter with tears trickling down her cheeks.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sitting at my desk at work with tears in my eyes from reading your posts (on a Friday afternoon of a long weekend no less)... and believe me -- I am not usually a sappy/emotional person.

    While I haven't walked in your particular shoes, I recently lost my sister (at age 31 to small cell carcinoma of the cervix) and I fully understand the notion of replaying/absorbing/remembering everything you wanted to do or did with your loved one.

    May god bless you..I haven't read all your newest posts but I hope that everything has worked out for you.

    Cheers Niamh