Wednesday, August 24, 2011

How We Honor Aubrey

Today I want to share with you how we honor Aubrey on her special days.  There is no right or wrong way to celebrate an angel baby, this is simply how we choose to.  First, I want to say that in our house you will find many reminders of Aubrey, but her pictures are limited to our bedroom.  I don't know why, but I'm not ready to share her with everyone yet.  I think it's because I don't want to force her on people, I only want to share her with those who really want to see her (that being said, if you ever see me in person and would like to see a picture of my sweet angel, just ask, I love sharing her with people who care and I always have pictures in my purse (those who have seen her agree that she was beautiful and perfect)).  

When you enter our house, you will see this lovely saying.  
(It's not near as big as it looks in this picture.)

 Aubrey's hand and foot prints are on display in our living room. 

 In our bedroom we have a medium sized cedar chest with Aubrey's special things.  The board above it says, "When I count my blessings, I count you twice."  Additionally, we each selected a picture to put on our nightstands. 

We thought long and hard about the best way to celebrate her and finally decided on a couple of guidelines.  For holidays that I would have bought or made her a cute outfit for (such as 4th of July, Father's Day, or Valentine's Day), we change the flowers on her grave (they aren't always new, I keep previous flowers in Rubbermaid containers in the garage to re-use since they don't stay out there that long).  To date, I have never changed the flowers alone, we always go as a couple.  

 Aubrey's birthday flowers this year.

Christmas flowers.

Easter flowers (we'll see if they come back next spring :)

For special holidays such as her birthday and Christmas, she gets flowers AND we make a donation in her name (normally to a kid oriented charity such as St. Jude).  Pretty much, if we would have bought her a gift, we make a donation.  (Last year at Christmas, we received a letter saying one of our friends had made a donation to the Ronald McDonald house in Aubrey's name since it was our first Christmas without her.  Let's just say it really touched this mama's heart.)

 All of her "in memory" cards go in her box. 

For her birthday this year, we decided to make a donation to the OSU Center for Early Childhood Teaching and Learning.  The best part of this donation is that your choice of wording is put on a bronze name plate that is then placed in a mural on campus. 

This is the wall...

that contains the tree...

that contains the leaf with Aubrey's name.

As I said before, there is no right or wrong way to celebrate an angel baby, this is simply how we choose to do it.  My words of advice, follow what's in your heart. 


  1. On Mila's anniversary each year we have planted a tree - a New Zealand native tree called a Pohutukawa, it flowers in December, which is when she was born. We also buy a Christmas present for her each year and place it under the KMart wishing tree for some other child to enjoy. We have her name on our wall, a memorial sculpture outside on our deck, her photos on our fridge and on our buffet. Her ashes and memory booklet are on my chest of drawers in our bedroom. Every time we put Ruby to bed, we stop by Mila's name on the wall and say 'Sweet dreams, Mila'.
    It sounds like Aubrey is an ever-present part of your family, just like Mila is in ours.

  2. I love the quote in the first picture and those little tiny handprints melted my heart! I love to read about all the beautiful ways you celebrate Aubrey's life. Thank you for sharing! You and Sam are still in my prayers!

  3. Sweet friends. Courney and Sam, I was looking at pictures and came across
    y'alls wedding. Please pray I find it again, around the same time I ran across y'all's WEDDING FAN. God has blessed me with so very much for sharing Abrey. Abrey is so alive. I can hold her. I do see her with my heart. HONEST. Jesus gives special gifts. I would LOVE to see Abrey's room. Thank you for your love. It hurts so much not to see the one's we love. Abrey, thank you sweetheart for your hugs and love in your heart forever, no matter what. THANK YOU ABREY BABY., OH, AND YOUR MOM AND DAD TOO. PRAYERS WHENEVER I THINK OF Y'ALL. AND THAT IS EVERYDAY WHEN ABREY COMES TO MIND. =) Happy Face.

  4. @mila cuatro

    It sounds like Mila and Aubrey are celebrated in very similar ways. I'm glad to know there are other angel parents out there who feel the same way we do.